Gee for George club
The RSGB 80 meter club championship contests have been running for a few years now and I would have thought that the original learning curve might have been satisfied, but no. The same old mistakes are being made, all the time. It’s kindergarten stuff and I’m becoming thoroughtly bored with it.
Tonight, I had a new selection of the phonetic alphabet. I for India was given to me as I for “International”. Yes, Inter-fnuking-national! What planet are these ops on? Of course, the old favorite alternatives are there too; G for George, B for Baltimore, C for Cant-bloody-hear-you etc, etc. Why-o-why do people have to use these weird alternatives? Some of these guys are marginal signals with wall-to-wall QRM and off they go with some weird pre-historic alphabet that was invented just after the 1st world war - worse still, they just make their own up! I attempt to correct the worst offenders. Why do I bother though.. I can’t understand these guys. What purpose do they think it serves, to make up new phonetics. I really and genuinely can’t fathom it. Maybe if the fellow at the other end can’t hear one of your letters, perhaps fire a few different phonetcs at him in blind hope he might be able to piece together what the hell you are trying to shout, Alpha, America, Arsehole, Angry, Apple, Ant, Another Twat on the microphone..
Then there’s that Matron woman? Who the hell is she? Not only can’t she tune to the frequency you’re on, she is such a condescending bird. The G for George 3s lap it up.
Then there’s the missing letter man.
“G3AB.. pop bang QRM whoosh” (I hear him calling me)
“G3AB question mark, you are 59, serial number 75 over” (I say)
“Er, M0MCX, thank you for your number 75, my report is 59 Zero Zero two, that’s zero.. zero.. QRM (pop-whizz-missing number but I think I heard two so I’ll run with it)”
“QSL G3AB questionmark, I need the last letter only of your callsign, what’s the last letter?”
“Thank you M0MCX, yes, er, my number is zero zero two, Zero Zero two and er my callsign is Germany three, George Three, Gee three, Arsehole Bottom crsahhhiss-pop-dunk Q R M again…. ”
Are they all in the same olde-fartes club or does each club have a social responsibility to have at least one - and then not teach him how to work a contest? Have these olde-fartes ever read the letters page in RadCom? Can’t they take a hint?
It sounded like the tubes on G3OLB’s amplifier were cracking under the strain. Not only was he the loudest station in the UK at 45db over S9 but I could hear the splatter easily 5 kHz up and down from him. Did you not wonder why nobody could get near you Tom?
Lastly, is the story about GW4BVE who lands 900 hertz away from me, presses a few buttons on his FT one-million-trillion radio and starts happily running, giving me +35db splatter. When I move my VFO a quarter-of-half-an-eighth-of-an-inch and explain that he’s completely blowing me away landing so near, he says, “Oh - is that you? I did have one station very close and I notched him out, you’re five and nine, thirty”. Hang on mate, “Can you not move down a teeny bit more?”. “CQ contest” he replies. Welsh **** (make up your own phonetics). (Oct 2009: I’ve just had an email from Pilleth[witheld]@aol.com who suggests that GW4BVE may not be Welsh. Apologies!).
Now to the lady in the photo. She is Neva Heckman, KC7MWB. She’s over 100 years old and actually the oldest Ham Radio operator in the world, so says an ARRL news article. I’ll bet she can give her callsign in standard international phonetics and not repeat the whole thing when I only need the last letter.
